Button, Button, Who's Got the Button?

We all have them. Those buttons that can get pushed. Acquaintances, most likely are not aware of our buttons. Our friends may or may not have an idea about them. But immediate family usually knows what they are and how hard to push. And, if you have siblings, the early years, may have been a button-pushing-fest.

Either way, having a button pushed by another is extremely uncomfortable. And when it is pushed, a decision needs to be made as to what to do about it. One option is to manage your own button(s). The way to do this is through a bit of awareness and self-talk.

When your button is pushed, first, simply stop and breathe. A few deep breaths can go a long way with helping you put things in perspective. Next, ask yourself, “How reactive am I to this situation?” Be honest. Get a true reading on where you are emotionally.

The next set of questions might be, “What has caused me to be upset? What is the button that was just pushed? What is my interpretation of what has just been said or done to me?” This is where self-awareness really kicks in if we allow it.

And now the tough part. Ask yourself, “What is really going on here?” Because pushed buttons usually say more about you than they do about the button pusher. The way you interpret the interaction points the finger back at you and requires self-reflection.

If you’ve gotten this far, then a final question might be, “If this situation comes up again, how will I handle it?” Because you get to choose. You always get to choose.

But here’s an idea. Acknowledge your buttons right now, before they are put to the test, and go through this exercise to create another outcome the next go ‘round.