Catch the Wave

Shame is a self-conscious emotion that can be a positive motivator to follow social norms. However, more often than not it can be extremely emotionally incapacitating. For some, it is an aggressive act that violates the human spirit—leading to feelings of being damaged, lacking, or deficient.

So what is underneath all that shame? Chris Germer emphasizes that behind shame is our powerful need to feel loved. As such, "Shame feels blameworthy, but it's innocent; shame feels isolating but it's universal; and, shame feels permanent and all-encompassing, but it is transitory, and it is a burden carried by only part of who we are.”

Ultimately, managing shame is a matter of recognizing and embracing the desire to be loved, included, and accepted.  And isn’t that all most of us really want?

Yes, shaming is known to be contagious, leading those who are shamed to shame others. Likewise, cultivating self-compassion and compassion for others creates a ripple effect—leading others toward self-compassion and compassion.

So, what might be a way for you to make a ripple which can then possibly turn into a full-on wave?