Cheers to Harmony

Cheers to Harmony

Many of us spend a vast majority of our time with folks who think like us, look like us, have educations like ours, and live lives that are similar to how we live. And this feels sooooo very comfortable. So, why wouldn’t we? But here’s the thing, this desire to be in that comfort-mode is creating a kind of societal “empathy deficit.”

New York Times writer Claire Cain Miller writes that this global empathy deficit is the root cause of many of our biggest societal challenges: “Our social circles have become so homogenized,” she states. “And it’s natural that like-minded humans naturally hold biases.”

Now, more than ever, it’s important to recognize our own blind spots – our own biases. And upon recognizing them, take action. One form of action could be in the realm of empathy. In other words, growing that empathy muscle.

We do this by simply being curious and increasing our breadth of experience. This might include speaking with people with vastly different backgrounds and life experiences than your own. By doing so, it helps eliminate some of the assumptions we may hold about people we are not familiar with.

Cain Miller cites neuroscientific research asserting that “empathy happens when two parts of the brain work together—the emotional center perceives the feelings of others, and the cognitive center tries to understand why they feel that way and how we can be helpful to them.” Curiosity is the catalyst and the bridge that brings these two centers together.

Something else to consider when desiring to increase empathy. Go quiet. Listen at least twice as much as you talk. Remember the old saying, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. When we actively listen, we step outside of our echo chambers to understand another’s experiences – to hear their struggles. This intentional listening is where we focus on the similarities not the differences. Cultivating the threads that join us. Actively finding similarities to connect with others.

And, finally, consider being open to changing your beliefs and attitudes. Author John Maxwell coined the saying: “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.” Some of the most gratifying life changes happen when we allow ourselves to be taught something new that changes our mindset and/or worldview.

Being open to seeing the world through the eyes of another person or group of people can be enlightening and life changing. While curiosity can ignite this dynamic, empathy is an important element that gives it staying power. The ability to adapt and change our belief systems based on evolving dynamics in the world we inhabit is key to living harmoniously with one another. So, raise a glass to harmony.