I'm So Mad I Could...

If you tend to have a short fuse or have intense anger outbursts, try and go a little easy on yourself and remember that there is a significant difference between feeling angry and acting on that anger. Because you can be justified in feeling angry and still be in complete control of how you choose to act on the emotion.

Yeah, when you are triggered….whew…it can be such a challenge to put a little space between the moment your temper flares and your response. But it can be done.

The first step is to get to know your anger. Recognize your ‘signals’ when you’ve gotten to a point where you can no longer think clearly or problem-solve. Is it your heart pounding or your face getting flush? Do you begin to speak louder or make exaggerated gestures with your hands Maybe you begin to have ugly (as my grandmother would say) thoughts about another person.

Whatever the trigger, that is the time to consider stepping away, cooling down, and then deciding your next move.

Another possibility: Time Out. Yeah, the same time out that you may have utilized for young children in your life, except the time out is for you. It could be a matter of just walking away, removing yourself from the situation, to allow you an opportunity to calm down.

Finally, there are several calming techniques you might want to consider.

Visualization: Simply close your eyes and imagine you are somewhere peaceful. Then lean into all five senses. What do you see, taste, smell, hear and feel?

Deep Breathing: There is a common method known as the 4-7-8 method: inhale for a count of 4, hold it for 7 seconds, and exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds. Do this at least three times.

Self-talk: Find a phrase and simply repeat it as many times as needed. It could be as simple as “I’m okay.”

Anger can feel like a difficult emotion to stop in its tracks. But it is possible. Granted, it may take a bit of practice, but once you get into the habit, the benefits will most likely become evident relatively soon.