Let the Temperature Rise

Anger has been given a bad rap by many. We hear that it is something that should be avoided and, well, just isn’t that helpful. But let’s look at this another way and recognize that anger is telling us something. It is powerfully informative. As an example, it lets us know when we are in a threatening situation, or it can motivate us to dive deeper and explore that ‘something’ that is triggering us.

Something to keep in mind – anger is one of many, many emotions that are necessary to learn and grow. But we can reduce the discomfort by moving through it. And the first step is to recognize it and then call it out by its name. Sounds a bit silly – But say it out loud, “I am angry (or fill in your own colorful equivalent)!”

Next, take notice of how you are feeling physically. Is your stomach in knots. Is your heart racing. Get curious about how the anger is showing up with your body and then welcome it to the neighborhood. Anger is a visitor that comes knocking at the door at the most unexpected times. Let it in. Sit down with it over coffee and cookies. And then ask yourself, “What am I supposed to be learning right now?”

Also, don’t push anger away too fast. Instead, let it head out on its own. This doesn’t mean stoke the fire of anger but get curious and allow yourself time to process.

Finally, turn toward the wisdom within the anger. Why did it drop by now? Once we are no longer feeling ‘threatened’ by anger, we can usually see a multitude of perspectives and have a better understanding of our next steps to move forward.

It’s okay to the let the temperature rise. Moving through anger healthily requires a whole lotta patience and a ton of practice. It’s a tricky emotion, but you can learn to respect it and respond to it skillfully.