Reconstructing Humanity

Reconstructing Humanity

When people are the recipients of deep unfairness, there is a tendency to condemn the ones who acted unfairly. It is as if the offending person is not a person of worth. And the person on the receiving end of the offense can draw a similar conclusion: They, too, are not a person of worth.

Forgiving others in a deep way, where the other's wounds are understood, can potentially reconstruct your own humanity.  One way to begin the reconstruction is to increase positive feelings toward self.  It would be so understandable to believe the ‘lie’ that others may be implying. But what if we reach out to the offending person with kindness?  The paradox, many times, is that this kindness begins to develop toward the self.  It is almost as if forgiving helps release the unhealthy self-feelings.  It’s a reconstruction of healthy feelings toward self.

The beauty of forgiving, when a person chooses to do so without pressure from others, is that it can put back the pieces of one's damaged humanity. The negative feelings of not liking oneself can transform into genuine self-liking. The hidden thought that "I am a person of inherent worth" can reemerge (or emerge for the first time) as the forgiver first offers this idea of worth to the offending person. The barrier of mistrusting others can be broken down as the forgiver sees that trust is possible and even if the next relationship does not work out, the person can forgive and protect the self.

Those who choose to forgive can reconstruct their sense of who they are as persons. They can cast off the stereotype of victimhood, and instead are people who can thrive. All of this shows a reconstruction of a humanity that was broken down, piece by piece, and now is transformed into a whole and healthy person with positive characteristics.